Attitude of Gratitude

2010-06-13T18:05:00.001-05:00

Saying thank you has become so automatic for us - as children we are reminded to use our manners, and as adults we often do it without thinking. You're at the grocery store for a typical and tiring shopping trip filled with unending requests for goods from the children while you tried to maintain focus and remember what you needed for the household. You've finally made it to the checkout and you can barely manage your rising frustration as you put the food on the conveyer belt while simultaneously trying to prevent the kids from grabbing the shiny goodies placed right at their eye level. The last thing on your mind is to be cheery with the checker, yet somehow when she asks how you are doing, you still reply with the rote, "Fine" as you move down to take out your debit card. As she places the last bag in your cart, she smiles and thanks you for shopping at Widgets R Us, and you glance back at her with a slight nod, and a "Thank You."

Normal grocery trip for most? Probably. We have become all too comfortable with saying thank you, that we tend to lose sight of the meaning behind it. If we say it without feeling, it is not worth saying at all, in my opinion. Think back on the last time you gave someone a heartfelt thank you, and reflect on what your body language and facial expressions were. Now consider the last time someone thanked you for something that you knew was sincere and genuine. Without realizing it, we know exactly whether we the gratitude we give and receive is a script or whether it is filled with emotions of the heart.

The whole family can join in at dinner by saying something they are thankful for. This is a simple step that can be a great habit, but don't let yourself fall into thinking that by saying you are thankful that you are expressing it. Think of the difference of saying, "I'm grateful for my children," versus looking at each one of them and remembering the day they were born, and the joy and gratitude you felt when they came into the world. That feeling of gratitude should course through your body like the exhilaration of a roller coaster. You want to thank the world and shout it from the mountain tops!!

I look for ways to include this in more mundane scenarios every day - for example, being thankful for the air-conditioning in your car or home when it is hot outside (It is sweltering sometimes here), or how grateful I am for a soft, warm and inviting bed to sleep in. There are any number of things that we take for granted on a daily basis, yet there are plenty of folks that don't have some of the luxuries we do (stylish clothing, cars, three meals a day). Though I do this for myself, I have found that it has improved relationships with those around me, because I find that I show them gratitude for things that I have taken for granted in the past. Telling my girls how thankful I am for their help with a task or telling my husband what a difference it makes when he heats me up a plate after I get home late from work. The others in our lives see this transformation and respond to it in kind.

Thanking others and appreciating what is in our lives, truly, is just an extension of love. After all, that's what connects us all, isn't it?

Love endures

2010-03-16T16:55:00.000-05:00

Love's beginning is filled with joy, an overwhelming sensation of connection that inebriates the mind. Carefree and without boundaries, there is no equal to the chemistry of first love. The flaws and quirks in your partner are cute and to be adored. It is easy to think that it will always be this way, with no effort required, because you yearn for each other so much.

As your love grows, you commit to one another and find comfort and satisfaction in a future together. Time passes, and you are acutely aware that these flaws are no longer sweet, and that you find them irritating, and no longer acceptable. For if they truly loved you, how could they do those things that bothered you so? You find rocky paths before you as you settle into mundane daily life, with less thought of sharing dreams and hopes, and more of tending to practical concerns.

Resentment creeps in before you realize its there, a nagging feeling that your partner does not care. Speak plainly to each other, with the greater goal in mind, that of a long lasting partnership with your best friend. Tears will come for both of you throughout your journey, and this will make your connection stronger. Share your fears, and avoid blame, for you are in it together. Love is a trek that requires committment and effort every day. To show your love in words and actions, to share your vulnerability when you feel so small. To support and protect them when they are in need, and to feel their comforting hand as you walk in silence.

Our moments together are fleeting, and remembering that helps to you focus on what really matters most - nurturing the love you have for your partner. Too easily we throw barbs in their direction, ready to defend against their attacks. It is because you care so much that you are so passionate about how they should act. Love endures and love remains because life is so much smaller and bleaker without it.

Which team is stronger? The one that never argues and has never failed or the partnership that falters through hardship yet prevails? Each hurdle cements your connection to each other, drawing you closer and more in tune. Listen to each other, and you will find the times of happiness are unsurpassable and unforgettable.

Ramblings

Attitude of Gratitude

Love endures